It is just another day at work but, not everything is right. I feel so void of everything in my life. I feel so empty that I can’t even relate to what life is. I hardly feel so hollow, but today happens to be different for me. It’s one of those days when people are hurt and sad and have no clue about how to go through the day. Yes, I am that sad, sad enough to wish the day to get over as soon as possible, so sad that I feel a strange pain in my throat, a tear that is trying to come but it isn’t being let out.
Pain and sadness are weird emotions; they leave you hollow from inside. They destroy you physically and mentally. It’s like those demons trying to suck out everything that remains inside you, so much so that your skin turns pale to blue. Describing sadness is difficult because it is tough. Sadness brings the toughness in us but only when it has stayed for a long time, only when it has managed to make you hate yourself, only when you have managed to unlove yourself, only when you are so fucked up and screwed up that there’s no hope left within you. And at such a point of time, for the lucky ones, toughness comes around, in the form of hope!
Not everyone gets a chance to explore the possibilities of hope because sadness covers us from all around. So much so that there’s just place for darkness. Even the slightest of sunlight that tries to seep in through is taken over by darkness. That is the strength of sadness. That is what sadness can do to you.
So what exactly makes you sad?
A lot of people have told me that it is our expectations that make us feel sad. But if I had to go by this, I would never be able to rise high. What is wrong in keeping my expectations high? What is wrong if my basic expectations are termed as high expectations? Maybe the only person I should be expecting from is myself! If and only if I had myself to expect from, my sadness would be lesser.
But you know, it’s not that easy.
This self-love is not what makes us who we are. A lot of people like me have been brought up in a culture where it was a virtue to keep others over myself. I still do that, I keep other’s happiness over mine. I keep others priorities over mine, even if it disturbs mine. I empathize with people and somehow, I have learnt that people do not take it.
People are not used to having this, maybe people are not used to getting so much love that when they finally have, they just cannot handle it. It’s weird and upsetting how your good intentions are never valued. It’s heartbreaking that people you love and care for only care for their selfish needs. You feel so let down, let down by people, let down by your own choices, let down by your spirit. Perhaps it’s difficult to explain sadness because sadness can come from a thousand reasons, reasons that may differ from me and you. One person’s reason for joy can be someone else’s reason for tears.
How to deal with Sadness?
Whatever it may be, sadness needs to be coped up with and more often than not, you will find yourself coping with it alone.
- Writing – I have had my days to jotting down everything that makes me feel bitter. Write down your miseries away, it’s a great way to deal with stress. A lot of people come around asking me how to deal with sadness and I simply tell them, just write and see how it heals you.
- Cry – Weeping is not a sign of weakness, it is a sign of acknowledging the sadness in your life and taking the step to overcome it. It is perfectly okay to cry whether you are a kid or an adult, a guy or a girl, crying will make you feel better. It’s somewhere a significant part of the whole process of getting over sadness.
- Music – Lot of people take to music when they are sad. I personally believe music can do wonders to you. Listen to the songs that you love or perhaps some Beethoven to relax.
- Eat your favourite food – Some people find it easy to cope up with sadness by having a tub of ice cream or a bar of chocolate. When I was in my college, I often went through stress which affected my health and grades too. In such a situation, a friend of mine would take me out to have a plate of momos and trust me when I say this, it did manage to uplift my mood.
- The clean freak – Certain people vent out their anger and frustration by cleaning and working out. While Monica from F.R.I.E.N.D.S. may be suffering from OCD of cleaning and organizing, this is something that can you can also do when you are not in the best of your moods. This helps you divert your mind to something else and makes your anger fly away. A lot many times, I have made the kitchen shiny when I was hit by sadness, anger, and desperation.
- Talk it out – Some lucky people have friends and family by their side that help them combat the misery they are in. It is always a good idea to talk to people who are close to you. If in case you are the kind of person who is not comfortable with sharing their feelings with people, you are better off with writing.
- Sleep – There was a time I’d just go off to sleep when I was sad. It works for a lot of people. It may be difficult to just sleep off your worries but sometimes, it’s the best you can do. Your mind deserves some peace and calm that can help you think in a more logical manner.
- Pamper yourself – A friend of mine likes getting a head massage when she’s screwed by. I totally swear by it, she has helped me get over my mood swings with a head massage. Alternatively, you can also get yourself a pedicure or a haircut, basically, anything that relaxes your nerves and makes you happy.
- Yoga – While I do not indulge much in yoga, I do know how effective it is. In fact, I have been practicing a bit of yoga for beginners these days and I must say, it is doing wonders to my life.
These are just a few ways I implement in my life to get over the feeling of being hurt and wounded. You must do too. Sometimes I get over it, sometimes I don’t. At times, I let time do the healing for me. I believe it is best to leave it to. There are numerous answers to how to deal with sadness but it is not necessary that all of them may work for you.
Feeling sad all the time without any reason for a prolonged time can be alarming.
In such a situation, I suggest you get in touch with a professional. If you are hesitant to do so, you can confide in a friend and ask him/her to help you get through the situation. These days, several apps like Lybrate and DocsApp have emerged to help people who are shy to go to a doctor physically. Always remember, going to the doctor for problems like these does not make you a mental patient, it only makes an informed and aware person who does not want to lose in life.
If you are one of those people who is being affected by anxiety attacks and depression due to emotional/physical abuse in your relationship it’s best to call off things for your own peace of mind. Do not come down to a decision just like that, think before you take the leap. If your partner does not understand you, it might be the best thing to do. If you think your career or anything else has led to this stress and has managed to spoil your relation then talk to your partner, make him/her understand your situation, and do not be afraid to ask for help. People who love will always be your side, no matter what!
I’d love to hear how you handle depression. If you are one of those who has been through a miserable time and overcame the shit, do share your story with our readers. It’ll be a huge motivation for us.
Sometimes, all we need is someone who’d listen to us. If you think you have no one, don’t be sad. Send me an email at [email protected] and I’ll be happy to listen to your woes and help you out with your problems.
I am also sending out author signed copies. If you want one, do drop me an email at my [email protected]
Until then, keep smiling!